Clearing the Fog
by BotchedRose22
Summary: Steven sneaks out of his bed late at night in order to use his mother's room without the Gems knowledge. There's something he's been wanting to do for a while now... something he needs to do... and he feels it's now or never. One-shot.


**Alright, so this is an idea I've been playing around with for a while. I thought it sounded both interesting and emotional. I really hope this turned out well. Let me know what you all think! Anyways, I own nothing.**

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Cracking open his eyes, Steven saw that everything was dark. The only light came from the moon shining in through his window.

He turned his head towards his clock. It was a little past midnight. All the gems would have gone back to their own rooms for the evening by now. Even Pearl, now that Steven had confronted her about watching him sleep.

So far, so good.

He sat up, eyes constantly darting about. This operation was something he'd been thinking about, on and off, for a while now. It was only a couple hours ago that he'd decided to go through with it, and he found himself incredibly nervous. There were too many ways for this to go wrong.

Steven worried that Garnet would see this possibility and try and stop him. Or that he'd lose track of time and end up coming out of the room when all the gems were already up. Or, possibly worst of all, he'd lose his courage and back out.

No. He promised himself that he was going to do this. Something in him needed this. Steven just hoped he'd be able to handle it.

The boy tip-toed down the stairs and scurried over to the warp pad. There he stopped for a minute, taking a deep breath. His eyes drifted up towards the star symbol above the door. Concentrating all his energy, Steven lit up his gem and activated the entrance to Rose's room.

As the door opened, Steven found himself hesitating. Doubt kept him frozen in place, one foot hovering just over the pink clouds within Rose's room... his room... he wasn't sure which to call it.

From behind him, Steven felt a nudge at the base of his spine. The sudden feeling made his heart jump and body whirl around to face whatever had done this. For a moment he feared it was one of the gems... he feared he'd been found out. But, to his relief, it was just Lion.

Steven sighed, a nervous chuckle escaping him.

"You really scared me there, buddy!"

He tousled the creatures' mane. It pushed itself against Steven, uttering a low rumble. Probably the closest it could get to a purr.

"Aww, I won't be gone for long. I promise. Don't worry about m-"

Lion pushed Steven into Rose's room. The boy tumbled over himself a couple times before landing in a soft bedding of clouds.

"Lion!" He protested. "You don't just push people into rooms like that!"

Of course, the beast couldn't hear him. The door had already closed. Steven was alone in the room, just like he wanted.

... Right?

He gulped. Well, there was no backing out now. This was probably his only chance to do this without any of the gems coming to stop him. It was now or never.

The boy sat in the clouds. He suddenly felt weak... his whole body was shaking. He wasn't ready for this. This was a bad idea. A terrible idea. He should go, go right now and run back into bed. It would be easy. Steven stood up, ready to call the door to his house back up.

... No. Steven Quartz Universe was not a coward. He could do this. He WOULD do this.

"Room!" He said, trying to make his voice sound more sure than the rest of him. "I want... I want... you to..."

Deep breath. "I want to see my mom."

It felt as if there was no transition. One moment, Steven was alone. The next, the mother he never knew was standing before him. It was so sudden that it nearly knocked the boy back to the ground. But somehow he managed to stand his ground and take in the sight before him.

She was tall. Taller than Garnet, maybe even taller than Jasper. It was quite an effort to look up at her face. Not that he was quite ready to do that anyway. Steven instead looked at the beautiful dress she wore, ruffles that gradually changed from pink to white. In the middle of her stomach was a star. There wasn't a gem within it, but instead a large pink dot. Like a reminder that she was a replica.

Her body was wide, broad, but not in the same way Jasper was. There was sort of a gentleness to her, welcoming and warm. And, of course, her skin wasn't a harsh orange, but a soft peach. Steven gulped as he finally got to her face. It was, however, masked by shadows and voluminous pink hair. Only her lips could be seen, formed into an emotionless line.

"H-hi, mom."

The woman was silent for a moment. Steven rubbed the back of his neck.

"Hi Steven!" She said, leaning down.

The rest of Rose's face came into view. Her eyes were wide and sparkling, her mouth now stretched into a loving grin.

Steven, once again, froze. He didn't know how to react. This was the person Pearl and his dad fought over for so long. The person Amethyst looked up to. The person Garnet saw in Steven. The person even Jasper respected. The person who gave her life for him and brought him into a life he... he... didn't know how to feel about.

Hesitantly, he reached out his hands. Something in him needed to touch her. Make sure she was there. And, sure enough, when Steven placed his hands on her cheeks, he felt soft squishy skin. It was as real as anyone else.

Rose chuckled, leaning in to kiss Steven on the forehead.

"How's my Steven?"

Steven felt his bottom lip begin to quiver.

"...Mom..."

She got down on her knees. Even like that, she was still considerably taller than her son. She placed a hand on his cheek.

"You've grown into such a sweet boy. You're just like your father."

His vision was getting a little blurry.

"M... M-mom..."

She tilted her head to the side, mouth formed into a warm smile.

"I knew you would be extraordinary."

This broke the dams. Steven began to cry, tears pouring down his cheeks and falling into the clouds. For so long he didn't know how to feel about his mother. All his emotions were mashed up into a complex little ball, and he didn't know how to express them.

He wanted to grieve. But he'd never met her, never knew how he was supposed to connect with someone he didn't have memories of.

He wanted to love her. The feeling had always felt somewhat foggy, unclear. Again, it all just felt like grasping at straws.

Part of him wanted to hate her. She left this legacy he could never fill and everyone went on and on about all her accomplishments. He felt an overwhelming sense of being unwanted, that she should be in his place. And Steven felt a little resentful towards her for bringing him into such an environment.

But above all, he just wanted to know her. To see her. To clear the fog and know exactly what he was supposed to feel. And now, looking at her, hearing her talk, touching her...

Steven ran into her and tried to wrap his arms around her wide frame.

"Mom...mom..." He wailed into her dress.

He felt her wrap her arms around him in an enveloping hug. All around him, Steven felt Rose. She was able to press him tight against her. He heard her begin to hum a soothing tune. Not only could he hear it, he could feel it rumbling through her chest.

This made him cry even harder. "Mom... ma... mama..."

This was what he'd lost. This was what he would never have. Her hugs. Her affection. Her voice. Her comfort. His mom. His mama.

"Shh, shh, it's alright, Steven."

Oh of course he loved her. He loved her instantly. Just like everyone else that met her.

"Mom..."

Steven pulled himself away. He looked up at her. He still had some things he wanted to say.

"Mom... why did you make me?"

Rose's eyes widened.

"All the gems talk about is how great you were, everything you meant to them... they keep expecting me to be like you. To do what you did. But I'm not you. I can't be you. But... I feel like I have to be. Or else... I guess I'm letting everyone down. If you were so amazing, why not just stay? You were doing a better job than I ever could."

Rose sighed, placing a hand on his chin.

"Steven." She pulled his face up to meet hers. "I didn't make you to replace me."

"You... didn't?"

"No. I made you so that you could be a human being. So that you could grow. So that you would be a gem with all the powers a human has."

"... What power does a human have that a gem doesn't?"

She smiled. "You have choice in what your future is."

"Then why doesn't it feel that way?"

"Because you haven't made that choice yet."

Steven sighed. "Would... the gems... still... care about me... even if I decided not to be a crystal gem?"

"I wouldn't have made you if that thought crossed my mind."

He sniffled, wiping the last remaining tears away.

"Thanks mom. I... I love you."

"I love you too, Steven."

She pulled him into another hug. Steven tried to remember every last second of it. The warmth of her skin. The softness of her dress. The slight tickle of pink curls falling onto his forehead. His mom. This was the only time he would ever feel her hug him.

Gently, Steven placed a hand on her side. Just a few more moments. That's all he needed.

She squeezed tighter.

Steven's hand began to shake, and he bit his lip. More tears began to squeeze themselves out of his eyes.

"Goodbye, momma."

He willed himself to think... _disappear._

And, just as before, it felt as if there was no transition. One moment he was wrapped in a warm hug from his mother, the next... he was alone. Hugging air. Since he'd been leaning so much into her, Steven lost his balance and fell into the clouds.

He lay there for a while, sobbing and shaking. She was gone. Rose was gone. His mom was gone.

At least... at least he could share in the grief with the gems. At least now... he knew how he felt.

Steven wiped the tears from his face and exited the room. Lion was dozing by the warp pad, snoring quietly. The boy walked over and tousled his mane again.

"Thank you, Lion."

The beast didn't respond, but rolled onto its side. That was good enough for Steven.

He climbed up into his bed. His eyes drifted to the alarm. A little past three am. Geez, it was late. He needed to get some sleep. The boy closed his eyes, and let himself be at ease.

* * *

The light from the sun was hurting his eyes. He turned his head to the side, groaning. Something about his voice seemed... different. Nothing major, just... it seemed deeper. Steven sat up.

Why did his clothes feel... tight? Maybe he should cut down on the donuts. And the cookie cats. And the fry bits.

When he stood, his eyes seemed... higher above the ground than before.

... Wait a minute.

The boy scurried down the stairs, across the living room, and right into the bathroom. He threw the switch on looked at his reflection in the sink mirror.

He let out a quiet gasp. Steven's hair had gotten longer. Not too much. Just enough for the curls to now fall around his face in ringlets. But that was the least of the change. His face had lost some of its chubbiness, and his cheeks were now slightly rough with stubble. Something about his eyes had changed, too. They seemed less round than before. Perhaps even a little smaller.

For the first time, Steven looked down at himself. He had lost some of the childish fat around his belly. His arms seemed a little more toned. Not any smaller, just... more defined.

While the realization had been hitting him for some time now, he finally shook himself out his shocked stupor enough to verbalize it.

"I'm older."

It seemed he was finally beginning to age again.

 **A.N. So this was my first Steven Universe fanfiction! I really hope you all liked it. Let me know if I was out of character or anything. Anyways, thanks for reading!**


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